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S.H.I.T. (Super Highway Information Technology)

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Can anybody answer some or all of these questions for me?

  1. Why does my copy of Micro$oft Windows NT 4.0 (build 1381 service pack 3) fail to partition my hard disk properly? I tried about 6 times, selected the option to create an NTFS partition as D:, and each time it created a FAT partition. I installed DOS 6.2 on the primary partition C: first so that I could continue using older, possibly incompatible software, but mainly in case NT screwed up.
  2. Why won't NT run Word 2 for Windows, which I have to run under DOS/Win3.1?
  3. Why can't I get DataEase for Windows to run under NT?
  4. Why does NT always start up with a message box "Service Control Manager" At least one service or driver failed during system startup. Use Event Viewer to examine the event log for details?
  5. Why after logging on, do I always get another message "User Environment" Your profile was not successfully loaded, but your have been logged on with the default system profile. Please correct the problem and log off (2)?
  6. Why do neither of these boxes, in common with seemingly hundreds of similar boxes in Windows software not have any help available?
  7. Why is it not possible to print the screen when these messages are present?
  8. Why can I not get my HP DeskJet 500C to be checked as the default printer?
  9. Why does Micro$oft Word 7.0a refuse to allow me to print, showing me instead an error message ""Micro$oft Word" Word cannot change printers. No printers are installed." ?(Control Panel shows two printers installed).
  10. While I am at it, why have Micro$oft invented the word "startup", and why does Word's own spell checker suggest it be spelled "start-up"?
  11. Why do all the other Micro$oft Office Professional packages also believe that no printer is installed?
  12. How does Micro$oft Internet Explorer 4 manage to print using a printer which according to the operating system is "not installed"?
  13. How does Lotus 1-2-3 97 Edition manage to print correctly?, does it know something that the Micro$oft products don't?
  14. How does SuperCalc 5 for DOS manage to print?
  15. Why using the History button in Micro$oft's IE4 does the computer appear to hang for about 5 minutes, showing 100% CPU usage?
  16. Why does IE4 not always ask whether to disconnect on closing "Disconnect" "Do you want to close the connection to Global Internet?"?
  17. Why does Outlook Express tell me I am working offline when IE4 knows I am online?
  18. Why does IE4 also sometimes tell me I am working offline when Outlook Express has just been online and not disconnected. (Having a Hayes external modem I can see its status via its lights, and also by tone.
  19. Why does Word's spell checker tell me that offline is a misspelling when IE4 uses it as a word?
  20. Why can I now not boot up into DOS after NT crashed a few weeks ago? The error message reads "I/O Error accessing boot sector file multi(0)disk(0)partition(1)\\BOOTSS"
  21. Why isn't it possible to get a screen print when NT crashes?
  22. Why when I try to get a screen print under DataEase 5.0 for DOS, do I get a message "not enough memory for bitmap" (or similar), when I have 64MB of RAM and about 2GB available to NT for virtual memory?
  23. Why doesn't "Print Screen" copy its contents to the clipboard as its supposed to?
  24. Why when I find a Micro$oft support line by e-mail does it refuse to accept my e-mails?
  25. Why do I get the same feeling that I used to get with a Commodore PET in 1980, that the technology seems very promising, if only the software worked in a user friendly manner, and you could get documents to print out properly?
  26. Why is it sometimes more frustrating and difficult to do something using modern software than it was to programme the PET in basic almost 20 years ago?
  27. Why am I too polite to call Micro$oft's products SHIT instead of giving them the euphemistic S.H.I.T. after all this hassle?
  28. Why did IE4 save files to the root directory, so that I got a disk full message?

Why has our website got gaps in it?

That's easy to answer. By the time I manage to fight the software into doing something useful, I'm usually too knackered to get any real work done. (By the way, why does Micro$oft's spell checker not know that there is such a word as knackered)

If you know the answers to any of these conundrums please feel free to share your knowledge.
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